I gave a talk in church about a month ago. I learned so much!
Sacrament Meeting Talk January 24, 2021 "He That Shall Endure Unto the End, the Same Shall Be Saved" Claudio D. Zivic April 2018 general conference (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/04/he-that-shall-endure-unto-the-end-the-same-shall-be-saved?lang=eng) I am very humbled to speak to you all today. I wouldn't say public speaking is my strongest suit, nor am I a Gospel scholar, but I do have a testimony and I guess that that is enough to qualify me to give a talk… so please bear with me! The topic Brother Montrose suggested I speak on today is "enduring to the end". Let’s break that up. First, let’s figure out what it means to endure and then let’s identify what the “end” is. The dictionary definition of the word “endure” is:
I think it’s an understatement to say that life can be painful and difficult at times. I also don’t think I’m wrong when I say that a lot of us know what it’s like to strictly just exist and want to hide from the world for a little while. In Gospel terms, the guide to the scriptures says that endure means: “to remain firm in a commitment to be true to the commandments of God despite temptation, opposition, and adversity” Adversity has encountered all of us at some point in our lives and I’m sure there will be much more to come, but we can overcome it by doing our best to stay on the straight and narrow path and by leaning on our Savior Jesus Christ. The Lord will provide a way if we put forth the effort to keep the commandments. Just like the scripture D&C 24:8 says “Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee even unto the end of thy days.” So, then, what would be considered “The End”? We read a lot of stories in preschool and when we turn the last page in a book, we say “The End” to indicate that there are no more words or pictures, and that the story has come to a close. So, when does our own personal story end? When we’ve completed our mortal journey? Or beyond that? Turn with me to… 3 Nephi 27:16 “And it shall come to pass, that whoso repenteth and is baptized in my name shall be filled; and if he endureth to the end, behold, him will I hold guiltless before my Father at that day when I shall stand to judge the world” From that, it sounds like Judgement Day is the end, after we have completed our lives on Earth. On another note, a quote from Gordon B. Hinckley comes to mind relating to this topic. He once said: "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured". I’m sure many of us can relate with getting caught up in the daily grind and monotonous routines so much so that we forget to enjoy life and focus more on simply trying to get through the day. But you know what? It's not about "getting through it" or "getting it over with", it's about learning to live in the present and embracing each and every moment we are given to live on this Earth. We can work hard and play hard!! My younger sister, Abbie, actually has this quote in a frame in her bedroom. You could say it’s her life motto and a daily reminder to her to keep going when life gets hard! Abbie has fought with EDS for most of her life. She just turned 19. In case you don’t know what EDS is, it stands for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. It is a connective tissue disorder that affects your skin, joints, and blood vessels. Abbie deals with chronic pain ranging from minor to severe on a daily basis. She can’t overexert herself, or she will suffer for it. The pain often keeps her up at night and she is limited in her capacity to do certain types of activities. She is very self conscious about needing to wear braces on her knees or ankles, or use her wheelchair to get around easier. Despite all of this, she is one of the strongest people I know! I can’t imagine what a heavy burden she must be carrying. Something I’ve noticed that Abbie does to take her mind off of things, is she paints or draws or crafts and that helps her refresh because it’s fun for her and she’s good at it! She is very talented! It’s amazing. I think that exercising our talents is definitely a way that we can enjoy life more. I’m grateful for my sister’s example and her determination to find the good in each day. Which reminds me of another quote I love. Alice Morse Earle stated: “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day”. This is spoken with a sense of optimism which I believe is yet another way we can not only endure to the end, but enjoy the path it takes to get there as well! In the April 2018 General Conference, Claudio D. Zivic gave a talk called “He That Shall Endure Unto the End, the Same Shall Be Saved". This is a great read. I would highly recommend watching it over reading it because he has a fun accent, but either way, check it out! He teaches about the blessings of enduring to the end and about what happens if we don’t. He also focuses on some key ways that we can endure to the end. He says: “Even those who have had powerful spiritual experiences, and have given faithful service could one day go astray or fall into inactivity if they do not endure to the end. May we always and emphatically keep in our minds and hearts the phrase ‘this will not happen to me’”. I love this. We can’t let ourselves become lazy or complacent. We are disciples of Christ and have a big role to play in furthering His work. We must be obedient and quick to repent when we fall into sin or temptation for “sins impede our spiritual progress. If we persist in our sins, we forget the covenants we have made with the Lord.” According to Elder Zivic, we can endure to the end by doing 5 things:
If we are committed to doing these things, we will always have the spirit to be with us, and we will be saved at the last day, and we will obtain eternal life! It’s important to not give up and remember that we are not in this alone! We were put here in families, we have the opportunity to make friends, we have a fantastic ward, neighbors, teachers, etc. to help us reach the finish line! I’d like to include my own personal recipe for enduring to the end--things that have helped me in this process and just because I love to bake! Ingredients:
Directions: Mix thoroughly to combine. Pour into support system. Bake on low for the duration of 1 human’s life. Remember: all good things take time! In all seriousness, enduring to the end is extremely important. We must not forget that our ultimate exemplar, even Jesus Christ, endured to the end. “Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink”. (D&C 19:18) “He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with His stripes we are healed.” (Mosiah 14:5) I’d just like to conclude with my testimony that I love this Gospel and don’t know where I would be without it. It is such a blessing in my life! I’m so grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ, for his ultimate sacrifice and Atonement and for His example of service and love. I know that through Him we can be saved if we endure to the end and that we can reach the end by keeping the commandments and honoring our covenants. I know that the Lord is merciful and graceful and that He will make up for what we lack and where we fall short. I know that the world isn’t all bad and that there are plenty of tender mercies bestowed upon us, we just have to choose to look for them. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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Hi! I'm back! Once again, I apologize for the delay, but I'm back at it and ready to blog!
So, a few months ago, on a lazy Sunday afternoon, my sister, my mom, and I were watching music videos to some of our favorite songs. Near the end of our watching, we came across the song "Most People Are Good" by Luke Bryan and we were like "hey, that's a good song", so we listened to it. **Side note: I haven't always been a country music fan, but it's growing on me haha.** Anyway, at first I was just casually listening to the beat and the melody and whatnot, but soon I became intrigued by the lyrics and started pondering on them. Here are the lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/lukebryan/mostpeoplearegood.html **Warning: there is one swear word. I'm so sorry!!** Here's a link to the music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-KsToawMJE It's a positive song about enjoying life despite the crazy world we live in and learning to see the good in it. It's also about recognizing that it's not all bad and that there are actually a lot of great people on this planet. Thanks for the inspiration for this post Luke! Now let's talk about our role as being and appreciating those good people he was referring to in his song. I think most of us can say that we associate with others on a daily basis in some way or another whether it be online, over the phone, or in person. We also communicate with others nearly everyday through words (written or spoken), body language, facial expressions, mood, actions, etc. Because of this, we naturally tend to form opinions of others based on things they do or say. Now, I'm sure we've all heard the phrase "don't judge a book by it's cover", right? This quote refers to what's visible to the human eye and encourages us to look deeper before making assumptions about others. It's a nice thought, I would just like to delete a couple words and stop in the middle by saying "don't judge". Period. It's not our right. Some people may do things differently than us, and some might not make the best decisions, but it doesn't make them a bad person. Outer appearances, mistakes, bad habits, etc. don't determine who a person truly is. There is SO much more to each individual. You can't decide someone's worth or potential based on these attributes. Inside every person, is a living, breathing, soul who wants to be loved just as much as you do. They have hopes and dreams and desires and passions too. I believe everyone has a reason for being here on this earth. They all deserve to be given a chance to be loved. I also think sometimes people act out when they aren't receiving that sense of belonging and they just want to prove that they exist. They just want someone to care. I've always been interested in people-the way they work, how they think, why they do what they do. Well, psychologists have studied the brain and determined that it is very complex. We have a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. Our awareness is either there, or it's not. Simply put, sometimes our actions are intentional, other times they are accidental. Maybe we mess up because we aren't thinking, and that's okay. We are human. We make mistakes that we later regret, but nobody is too far gone. Everyone deserves forgiveness. Please forgive and try to see your brothers and sisters the way God sees them, for they are His children. He knows their hearts. He knows your heart. We are all just trying to overcome the obstacles of life and I know for a fact that it would be so much easier if we just helped each other along the way. We are one big great big family, let's treat each other like so. Here are just a few little tips that I have found to help me resist judging, and instead, see the good in others: -SMILE at everyone you see. You never know who might need it. You'd be surprised at how many people smile back too. Trust me, I've experimented. -Give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people may be intimidating at first, but you never know, they could be the nicest person you ever meet. -Hold the door. I do this at school all the time and people will say thank you or return the favor and it makes me feel so good that I could do such a simple thing for them. Try it! -Don't gossip. I try really hard not to gossip. I feel so much guilt after talking about someone negatively. A lot of times gossiping will come back to bite you. Also, other times it's full of rumors and lies. It can really hurt people and damage their self esteem. Don't talk badly about others, but also don't listen to gossip. Satan is present in those kinds of circles. -Compliment. Simple things like "I like your shoes" or "You're so fun to be around!" are so simple but can mean a lot. Dallin H. Oaks came and spoke at a devotional for local high school seniors last year and I was lucky enough to have attended. Something I remember him telling us is not to label ourselves and that the only label that matters is that we are children of God. I feel like this is relevant for this post because not only should we avoid labeling ourselves, but we should also avoid labeling others. They, too, are children of God. That is all that matters. (Here is a similar article he shared in the June 2013 New Era if you're interested: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/new-era/2013/06/how-to-define-yourself?lang=eng) I know it's hard. It's especially hard in the world we live in to see all the scary things on the news or the models in the magazines or people on the streets down on their luck, and not form an opinion of them so quickly, but let's try. Let's try not to see them as different, but the same. And if we happen to think something negative, let's counteract it. In any circumstance, be kind and remember that most people are good. I am grateful for all of you and your efforts to be better. You are examples to me and I know that you're good people. I hope you see that in yourselves, -Mal Hey friends! It's been a hot sec. Life got crazy busy for me all of a sudden and before I knew it, I'd gone 4 whole months without writing on my blog. I apologize, but welcome to the first post of 2019! Whooo! Let's gooo!
Quick question before we start: am I allowed to have writer's block because I feel like I've had it for ever and ever haha? I'm just gonna write and see where this post goes. It's all coming straight from the heart so just know that whatever I say, I say with a full blown passion and have a sincere love for anyone who reads this even if it doesn't make any sense :) I feel weird you guys. It's winter (a common season for depression), and a lot of what I'm doing these days seems pointless. Almost everyday feels like the same old routine and it makes life seem really dull. Can anyone else relate? You wake up, get dressed, brush your teeth, grab some food, throw on a coat, and head to school or work, come home, drop your stuff, maybe eat some dinner, go back to bed, and repeat (obviously with some other individual matters included), but that's the jist of it right? Your alarm goes off and you probably think to yourself "here we go again." (I do this ALL the time). So the leading question should be why? Why are we going again? Why do we wake up everyday? Why do we continue to keep getting up each morning? Why-when there isn't much of a point and we just keep re-living the same day on repeat do we still choose to get out of bed and face another day? Is it out of habit? Is it because we're afraid of the consequences? Is it because we don't know what else to do with ourselves? These are simple questions, but in reality, they can be really complicated. I will admit that I don't always wake up everyday in a good mood or with a specific purpose in mind. I press snooze, I forget to say my prayers, I run late, and I complain a lot about not wanting to go to school or work or tend to my responsibilities. Sometimes I think it would be easier to not do anything at all. But you know what, my "why" is because I am afraid of the consequences. I don't want to miss school and get behind for fear of getting bad grades or failing my classes. I don't want to call in sick to work because I need the money and I know they need the help. I don't want to skip meals because I don't want to starve. I don't want to say no to my parents when they ask me to do favors because they already do so much for me. The cycle is exhausting. Is it not? I don't know about you, but the end of the day rolls around, and I just want to CRASH. Most days are bearable to say the least, but how can they be enjoyable? I think that lies in our "why." Your current reasoning may not be what you want to forever be your motivation. I know I don't want to be motivated to get up everyday for the rest of my life just because I have to. Do you? I want to be driven by a deeper meaning in life and feel like I have a greater purpose than that because we all do. We weren't put here to simply exist, we're here for a reason. Life goes by sooo fast. It's insane. I feel like I'm still 12, if I'm being honest. I mean, I haven't grown any taller since then haha. But I guess I've matured a little ;) I'm an adult though? What is this?? Time passes with every breath and every blink. Time is valuable. We can't let it pass us by and since we can't stop it, we need to embrace every single moment, for every individual second is a gift. Make memories, spend time with people, love yourself, and don't forget to live. How bout this... Let's choose to get up, thank the Lord for a fresh new day, new start, new opportunities, live with optimism in our hearts, love/serve others, and try our best to live up to our fullest potential. Let's look forward to tomorrows rather than dread them. There are only so many hours in a day, so many days in a week, weeks in a month, and months in a year. We can't waste the short time we have here in mortality. This is our time to learn, to grow, and to find our true selves. This is our time. It's okay to take time outs, but don't let your inner coach keep you seated on the bench. You have a game to play. Tell him to put you in :) I love you. Each of you. I'm inspired watching all of the amazing things every one of you has accomplished in your lives and the motivation you find to live. Life is dang hard. Getting out of bed is dang hard. Give yourself a pat on the pack. You deserve it. Celebrate the little things and enjoy your special journey as one of God's children on this beautiful Earth he created for us. Dance in the rain! (or the snow if you're in Utah right now haha). Oh and check out my cute cousin Vanessa's blog (thecouragetorise.weebly.com) she motivates me to keep writing and I want her to do the same cause she's amazing!! Have a fabulous week!! -Mal I apologize in advance for taking so long to write this specific post; it's a little late now that a new school year and everything has already started, but I hope it's still relevant. Here are some words that come to mind when I think of change: -scary -different -new -challenging -confusing -adjustment -opportunities -growth -experiences -purposeful -time -big -crazy -become I like to think of change as a cycle with multiple phases. 1. Initial start of change 2. Developing feelings towards the event 3. Transitioning into a new lifestyle 4. Adjusting 5. Steadying out 6. New changes arise 7. Repeat cycle I also came up with some categories for labeling changes. Changes can be,,, -Abrupt or Gradual -Voluntary or Involuntary -Big or Small -Positive or Negative (or both) Abrupt vs Gradual Have you ever had changes come up out of nowhere and thought "what the heck?" Well, that's an abrupt change for ya. They're unexpected and hit you like a brick. Gradual, on the other hand, happens over an extended period of time. Think of it like growing taller. You don't start at 19 inches and then grow to be 5 ft within a single day time frame. It doesn't work like that. Voluntary vs Involuntary Sometimes we might actually anticipate change. This is rare for me, but it can still happen haha. I'd say this happens when we are given opportunities that we know will have a big effect on our lives, but ones that we are willing to sacrifice for anyway-ones that are worth the risk. There are other changes that come about without our consent, if you know what I mean. I would consider these involuntary changes. These are the changes that you don't want to occur, but somehow they do anyway. It's kind of not fair. Big vs Small Examples of big changes: college, graduating, losing a loved one, moving, going on a mission, car accidents, dating, having children, getting married, parents getting divorced, becoming an adult, loss of relationships (breakups or losing a friend), losing a job, starting a new job, natural disasters, church callings, technology innovations, health concerns, etc. THERE ARE SO MANY! Examples of small changes: misplacing something, altering your schedule, new likes/interests, redecorating your house, cleaning your room, reading a new book, changed time or day of an event, etc. (these are harder to think of because to me, change in any form is a big deal). Positive vs Negative You can decide which changes are good or bad, but generally any kind of change is both positive and negative whether we realize it or not. The reason for this is that events involving change always have a purpose in helping us grow and learn. Ideally, I'm sure none of us would mind going through positive, small, voluntary, gradual changes, BUT fortunately/unfortunately we get some negative, big, involuntary, abrupt changes thrown our direction more than we'd like. Thankfully we have a higher being above us who has a greater understanding of who we are, what we're capable of, and what kind of growth we need to become the person he intended us to become. Thinking of it in this light, I think most of us would agree that change is a good thing. It isn't always seen that way, especially in the moment, but looking back, you're able to see how far you've come and how strong you are as a person. Here are some other thoughts I had:
Guys! In case you didn't know, I started college at UVU this fall and graduated recently as well. These are some of the hardest adjustments I've ever had to deal with. I haven't moved out or anything yet (kudos to those of you that have), but the transition has still been a little rough. I've been told countless times things like "It will get easier" and "It will be over before you know it" or "It's not as bad as you think it is." Which, in reality, are all true; sometimes they are just hard to accept. Something I can't stress enough (I'm still learning this) is that everyone deals with change differently and adjusts in different ways. More importantly, some take longer than others and that is totally okay!! Don't compare you're time table to anyone else's; it will only make things harder. Take your time, move at your own pace, and remember that you are your own person. A huge takeaway I've gotten out of my experience with change in the short time I've been alive is that time heals. It's crazy how it works, but it is the biggest contributor I've noticed for getting used to things. At one point you're thinking "How come this had to happen? This sucks." and the next minute you're casually like "I remember that." Obviously there are things we never completely get over and are a much bigger deal, but either way, it at least get's easier to cope. It truly does. At the beginning, there is so much struggling and grief involved, but with time, we realize that change is part of our mortal existence that we can't always control, so we push on, press forward, do the best we can, and live our lives in the best way we know how. In short, we learn to adapt. Socrates once said: "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new." I hope any changes taking place for you right now aren't too unbearable, Look for support if you need it. Don't try to handle everything on your own when you have help available. Whether it be your family, friends, me (you can always come to me), or Heavenly Father! I love you guys. We can do hard things!! -Mal Did you know journaling isn't technically a real word? Neither is hammocking. WHAT!? Hahah. They sound real to me. Whatever. For the sake of this blog post, journaling is a real word cause I like it.
Okay! Here we go. (PS: sorry its been a while. This month has been insanely busy.) I want to address 3 different questions regarding journaling. 1. When? 2. Why? 3. How? When should you write in your journal? It's really up to you. There are no rules when it comes to writing in a journal, so you honestly just gotta find what works best with your schedule. I used to write in my journal every single day when I was younger. Can you believe that? I think that was crazy. As I've gotten older, I've realized 2 things. 1. I don't have the time to do that anymore and 2. it wasn't really necessary to do that because I didn't actually have things to write everyday, I just wrote random stuff that I probably won't care to read in the future. So now I've been trying to do it once a week (ideally) on Sunday afternoons because those are my least busy days. Sometimes it's once a month because I get so busy, but really, don't be hard on yourself. Just write when you have the time. Definitely make time though :) Why write in a journal? One word: memories. 2 more words: learning and teaching. I think memories are so fun to look back on and if they're written down, you can remember details that you wouldn't have otherwise. Naturally, most memories fade, but if you write them down, you can read your journal and take yourself back to those times. You can also learn from writing experiences down by referring to them when you are going through a trial or a friend/family member/spouse/child, etc. are going through similar trials to help them see how you got through it and how they can too! How do you write in a journal? I know this sounds silly. You're probably thinking "Um, you just like get a pen and notebook and write stuff." True haha. BUT! What kind of stuff? Write what you want to remember. It's that simple. Anything from spiritual experiences, to lessons learned, to major events (i.e. graduating/getting married), or super fun things that you don't want to forget. If you are consumed with thoughts, stressed, or anxious, writing is a good outlet to get what's on your mind out on paper and help you understand what's going on inside a bit better. I know when I've had a hard day or I'm really sad, I'll write in my journal and it helps me feel a little lighter. When in doubt, look up some journal prompts and take note of those. I made a cute little journal jar in Young Womens a while back, so you could do that too (I'd just look up ideas on Pinterest). Something I think is important to remember is: when you write, write your feelings and not just the facts. The facts don't say much about you and its YOUR journal so write about YOU. Get to know yourself and help your future ancestors get to know you too (if you're gonna let them read your journal(s) that is). I have two journals. One is a personal journal, and one is a gratitude journal. The personal journal is where I write my experiences, big events, fun things that have happened recently, etc. The gratitude journal is where I write what I'm grateful for that day-how I've recognized the hand of God in my life, tender mercies, or special blessings I've noticed. That one I write in every night before I go to bed. It helps me wind down and end my day on a positive note. I hope you'll try it. I've been doing it for a few years now and it's made such a difference in my life. You may not always see the good throughout the day, but reflecting on it after the fact, helps you find the good. To close, just remember: journaling (still not a word) doesn't have any rules. Write how you want, when you want, and where you want. You don't have to have perfect grammar or make perfect sense, just write how you feel and the memories you want to cherish. You won't regret it! Have a fabulous week and please share your experiences with me if any of these tips helped or if you have any of your own to share. Thanks for reading! Love you all!! -Mal Oh! One more thing! My cute cousin Vanessa has a blog. She started it a while ago but just recently started posting again and it's AMAZING. Go check it out at thecouragetorise.weebly.com you won't regret it! I want to know what YOU need to hear, so this week I decided to create a poll on Instagram and ask if my next post should be about "self image/confidence" or "journaling." If you can't already tell from the title, the first option won. The results were 73% to 23%. So that is what I'm here to talk about today :)
I know self confidence is something a lot of people struggle with these days, but seeing some of you vote for it has sort of testified to me that it's more common than we may realize. I see it as a BIG deal and not something that should be taken lightly, so hopefully the insights I have can resonate with you somewhat. ***SIDE NOTE/DISCLAIMER: With every post I write, I write for you AND for me. I am not perfect by any means and a lot of times I need to write what you need to hear. If no one were to read my blog, I would still keep it going because it is an outlet for me and actually really helps me open my eyes to see the bigger picture, but I also recognize that i'm not the only one living in this world and that I might just have something enlightening to offer even if it's only for one single person. So please know that I'm not trying to preach or boss you around, I just receive sparks of inspiration and my thoughts will literally boil over if I don't share them. :) *** Anyway! Back to what I really wanted to talk about. Self Perception. Perception (according to the dictionary definition) is:
Through the list below, I'm going to ask you a question and then restate/echo the same question, but in a personalized format. I'll tell you the reason being afterwards. Just answer them the best you can.
The reason I did this was 1. To give you an idea of how you perceive yourself, and 2. To see if your self perception is different when asked questions by others (or with other's interests in mind) vs. when you ask yourself questions. Maybe this whole activity was a complete flop, but if nothing else, I hope it at least gives you something to think about. (By the way, I just barely came up with this exercise and it kind of makes me feel like a psychologist or a counselor or something haha.) But no, seriously! I don't think a lot of us recognize our true value. Maybe we aren't even completely sure of our identity, because we get so caught up in impressing others and worrying about if we're good enough, if we matter, if anybody loves or cares about us at all, etc. Regardless of what others tell you or what you tell yourself, you are and always will be a child of God and that in and of itself is more glorious than any other title you can be given. And if you're wondering, YES! YOU ARE LOVED! Heavenly Father loves you infinitely and that love never EVER changes. You're always gonna have someone on your side rooting for you. How good does that make you feel? That even when you feel like you suck at everything and that you shouldn't even try, you are not alone and there really is somebody out there cheering you on, telling you to give it a shot. That is sincerely comforting to me. You guys! Can I be honest with you? Confidence and low self esteem is something I've always struggled with. I am constantly comparing myself to others. And as Al Fox said, "Comparison is a trap." It really is. I have felt it. It's a good trap too. It will catch you, hold on to you, and not let go. So little story: I HATED P.E. in school. Hated it! That class always made me feel bad about myself because I've never been good at sports and I also have mild asthma which can limit my abilities. The fact that I HAD to be able to do certain things and obtain certain skills in order to receive an "A" stressed me out so bad. I mean, I guess it's like any class, but I'm smart so I can do things on paper, just not in real life haha. It was frustrating because I did my best and gave it my all every time, but my best wasn't good enough. I'm the worst at running. It kills my lungs and burns my throat. I would almost always be the last one running the mile for the fitness gram and being the only one on the track with everyone waiting for me, made me want to ball my eyes out. I wasn't only thoroughly embarrassed, but I also didn't understand why I couldn't be as fast as everyone else. Looking back, I realized I had legitimate excuses and I was still trying and putting forth effort. Now I can look back and say that I am so proud of my little 7th grade self. "You go girl!" It's the same thing with me and dance. If you haven't already heard, I LOVE to dance with a passion. It gives me a way to express what I'm feeling on the inside and allows me to escape my troubles. But I'm not the best dancer in the world and I know that. I know I'm a good dancer, but not as good as "so and so." I'm not super flexible, I can't do any cool tricks, or leap super high like all the other girls and that's led me to feel bad about myself. It's always a competition. If you can relate to this at all, let's try to do what we love for ourselves and not for anyone else because our talents are OURS. They aren't meant to be judged or compared, they are meant to be shared and developed in our own timing and our own way. It's not just my self confidence that's been triggered over the years, but also my self image. We were all created uniquely and differently; why can't we just accept that? I don't know, but I admit that I haven't always been able to see myself as beautiful. From my dry skin, to my thick thighs, to my occasional acne, to my naturally big wavy hair, to my double chins and wimpy muscles, I sometimes don't feel comfortable in my own skin. Have you felt that? Can you relate to thinking these negative thoughts about yourself? Or others such as "I'm too short", "too tall", "too fat", "too thin", "my nose is too big", "my eyes are too small," "why am I not tan?" and "my clothes aren't in style" or "my makeup isn't right?" It doesn't leave you feeling too hot, does it? All the negative, demeaning, and degrading thoughts we perceive about ourselves come from Satan. The adversary is really good at getting us to believe that these thoughts are true because he knows we will be happy when we are confident and proud to be who we are and he doesn't want that. I think one of the best things we can do for ourselves is learn to recognize who's speaking to us in our minds. The easiest way to tell is by remembering that "whatsoever is evil cometh from the devil and whatsoever is good cometh from God." If you have any rude, ugly thoughts, immediately dismiss them. They are completely wrong and have no right to dwell with you. Listen to the still small voice of the spirit and know that it communicates how God feels about you and who you are in his eyes. Well, here's another exercise for you. I feel like this one will be more effective. Next time you look at yourself in the mirror, don't look away! Stare yourself down! Take the time to really, truly look at yourself. Notice your reflection. Find yourself in that mirror. Look at your hair, Look at your eyes. Look at your whole face. Then simply give yourself a smile. Force a smile if you have to, but do it. From yourself to the face staring back at you, grin from cheek to cheek and hold it there till it hurts. Smile a REAL smile (which means to smile with your eyes.) Maybe even scrunch up your nose and bring out those dimples if you have any. I hope you feel empowered. I hope you feel beautiful (or handsome ) I hope you clear your mind of the dumb distracting thoughts from the adversary. I hope you start to find yourself. Most of all, I hope you can begin to feel God's love and see yourself as he sees you. You are good enough. You are pretty/handsome enough. You do have what it takes. You are stronger than you know. You are worth more than you know. You have value. You are golden. You are freaking amazing, wonderful, marvelous, incredible, fantastic, etc. You... you are a child of God. NEVER forget that. Don't change yourself for others. Find yourself for you. I believe that each of us has individual worth and potential and that there is no limit as to what we can do or become. Fighting self confidence and self image and self perception is a never ending battle, and it's one of the toughest trials given to us, but in the end, we're gonna win that battle if we do our best to love ourselves for who we are and endure to the end. Let's also not forget that there are so many battling the same thing and that we can use all the support we can get. So be a friend and an example. Smile at others and cheer each other on. I love you guys, even if I hardly know you, I love you! If you're ever struggling to find your self worth, hit me up. I got you! ;) Thanks for reading, I know it was a long one. Feel free to comment below or contact me at anytime. Have a fabulous week!! -Mal A question I've been asked a lot lately is "how does it feel to be graduated?" Honestly, I don't like it. It feels weird. I just miss high school so so much! I told my mom near the end of the year that high school is my comfort zone and I didn't wanna leave. That couldn't have been any more true that last week of May. Senior year was literally the best year of my whole entire life and having to leave it behind is rough and depressing. I had amazing friends, created unforgettable memories, and learned a ton. I felt like I actually had a place. Now high school's over, friends are changing, leaving and going their separate ways, and it makes me sad (I've cried about it multiple times TBH). What now?? I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that I have to be an adult now. I don't like this transition phase and I am definitely not a fan of change. Oh, and I forgot! Do you ever regret things? Because this past school year was the year I think I've had the most regrets. So it was the best year, but it was full of regrets... how ironic is that? Those regrets still hang over me and I so desperately wish I would have done or said things differently. This isn't necessarily important, just thought I'd throw that out there and let you know that I'm imperfect. Aren't we all? A few months ago, I shared this thought on my Instagram story: "We're all human. We all have regrets. We all make mistakes, but if we never did this, we'd never learn, and if we never learned, we'd never grow." So hey! Apparently someday I will learn and grow from my regrets and so will you. (I just took my own advice haha). I'm trying to get excited for college, but the truth is I'm TERRIFIED. I'm trying to ignore the fact that it starts in 3 weeks, but unfortunately, it's gonna come sooner than I want it to. I always imagine the worst possible scenarios when it comes to big things like this which can be both good and bad. Good because I can prepare myself and receive a little relief when things go better than I think they will, but bad because I work myself up over everything and get anxious over things I can't control. I'm not the only one right? Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only one suffering from trials. I tell myself "there's a plan for you and it's gonna be better than you think it will. Even if it's not, try to be grateful for what you're going through and learning in the process. It's easier if you face your trials instead of hide them in the back of your mind, pretending like they don't exist. Your attitude makes all the difference. If you're positive, you might actually enjoy life more." WOW! That just sounds like a whole lot of overwhelming self advice. Am I right? Sure it's valuable advice when you actually apply it, but how do you just automatically change your mindset? That's something I'm still trying to figure out. Honestly, right now I am stuck, confused, uncertain, and unmotivated. If you feel anywhere along the same lines as me and are having a hard time moving away from the past and progressing towards the future, let's just hold on for the ride because sadly, time doesn't slow down. Meanwhile, let's keep ourselves busy doing the things we love and take advantage of every spare moment we have to ponder, reflect, think, reminisce, and enjoy the lives we've been given. I think we often (myself included) tend to forget about the present. I also think the adversary plays a big part in constantly reminding us of our past mistakes and future concerns so much so that we hardly make time for the present. There are so many pasts, lasts, endings, conclusions, farewells, goodbyes, etc. There are also futures, first steps, fresh starts, new beginnings, introductions, and hellos, but how about the present? The middle? The in-between? The moment? The now? We can choose to live in the past, or we can spend our days wishing for or fearing the future, but let's not forget the NOW by living, breathing and learning here in the moment-basking in the light of each and everyday because the things we take for granted could be gone in the blink of an eye. Here are a few sources who are a bit more inspiring than I am on this subject: 1. "Be of Good Cheer" by Thomas S. Monson (April 2009 General Conference) Here's that link: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/be-of-good-cheer?lang=eng 2. "Numb" by David Archuleta This song is AMAZING! Pay attention to the lyrics ;) Sorry for the long rants and complaints. Sometimes it just feels good to let things out. Feel free to rant to me anytime haha. I promise I will listen! :) Love you guys!! -Mal
Okay, you might not know this about me, but I LOVE the rain. When it rained last night, I was filled with PURE JOY! I know, I know, it's a common thing to love, but the reason I love it might be different from why you do (maybe not). Please bare with me as I express how passionate I am about it for a minute (thanks in advance. I love you haha).
To me, the rain makes me feel refreshed, blissfully happy, carefree, and at peace. It reminds me of starting over. Something I'm extremely grateful for is tomorrows because they give you a chance to do just that- start over, try again, and improve. When it rains it's kind of the same thing. The earth is physically being cleansed. It's washing away the heat of the day like a fire being extinguished, or like your burdened shoulders being lightened, or your stresses and worries being pushed aside. That's why I like it. I've noticed that when it comes to rain, storms, thunder, lightning (all that good stuff), you either love it or you hate it. Now, I'm not saying you're a horrible person if you hate the rain. That is totally okay! There are complete legitimate reasons to dislike it. It can ruin your plans, soak your clothes, drench your hair, cause tragic accidents, or keep you up at night. It's not always the best thing in the world, right? I just wanted to share these two perspectives because it leads into my real intended message for this post. Storms are a part of life, but so is sunshine. Rain is a part of life, but so are rainbows. Thunder and lightning are a part life, but so are bright, blue skies. Something I believe (and this may not work for everyone) is that it's completely okay and justified to have a dreary, sad, sorrowful attitude sometimes. Key word being "Sometimes." Sometimes that happens and it's just not gonna work to change your point of view once in a while.. Obviously, if it's constant, please go reach out and get the help you need, but occasional sad days are necessary. If we never had those bad days, we'd never know what a good day is because there would be no difference between the two. It's important to have positive, sunny, happy, fun days too in order to find joy and purpose in life. In fact, let the good outweigh the bad! I think both kinds of days are acceptable because they teach you valuable lessons and make you who you are. I believe this way because trust me, I've had a lot of bad days throughout my life, even right now, and they SUCK. But I'm also lucky enough to have had some truly magical days that make up for the sucky ones. I can guarantee if you look hard enough you will be able to see that in your own life as well :) To close, I want to share my most favorite quote in the whole wide world with you. It says: "Everyday may not be good, but there is something good in everyday." You may have heard this before so sorry (not sorry) to throw it at you again, but I love it because it proves that not all days are as bad as we think they are, and that if we look for those things, we can gain a stronger attitude of gratitude and optimism in our lives. I hope if you do nothing else, or felt no different after reading this, at least hear me out when I say "please don't give up on yourself! Don't shame yourself for having bad days, for not being happy, or for crying. Life is HARD and you have every reason to be upset at it. However, if ever possible, fake a smile until it becomes real and know that things are gonna get better." Thanks for reading! Love, Mal |
AuthorJust your average 19 year old trying to find a place in this crazy world. Archives
February 2021
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